Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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