How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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