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I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
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