do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
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And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
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How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
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