yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
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I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
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I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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