I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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