i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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