Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize