FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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