you have to choose: penises or morals?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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