My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need to sanitize my soul.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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