omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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