She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Bring me that man meat
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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