so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize