Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize