just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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