There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
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all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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