Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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