a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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