The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
please come you make the beer taste better
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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