This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize