She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize