I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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