Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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