yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
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He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
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Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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