I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
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I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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