I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize