a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize