The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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