Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize