And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
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You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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