Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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