pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
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and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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