Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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