i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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