Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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