thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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