no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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