Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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