If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize