too bad you live with your parents still
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize