btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize