Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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