We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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