He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize