hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize