you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
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It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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