shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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