you guys were way drunker than both of me
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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