And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
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I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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